The Magistrate's Blog (2005-2012)

This blog has migrated to www.magistratesblog.blogspot.co.uk This blog is anonymous, and Bystander's views are his and his alone. Where his views differ from the letter of the law, he will enforce the letter of the law because that is what he has sworn to do. If you think that you can identify a particular case from one of the posts you are wrong. Enough facts are changed to preserve the truth of the tale but to disguise its exact source.

My Photo
Location: Near London, United Kingdom

The blog is written by a retired JP, with over 30 years' experience on the Bench.

Friday, January 14, 2005


I was in Court yesterday doing a busy remand list.

We rattled through the business, but I was brought up sharply when a defendant, having been told that he was free to leave, said "Thank you, Your Majesty".

I am used to being called "Sir", "Your Worship", "Your Honour", and, less often, "My Lord" and (by Africans) "Your Excellency" but this was a cracker.

Before it went to my head, I reminded myself that only last week someone standing in the same spot had called me a "Fucking bald-headed cunt" and a "Fucking wanker".