The Magistrate's Blog (2005-2012)

This blog has migrated to www.magistratesblog.blogspot.co.uk This blog is anonymous, and Bystander's views are his and his alone. Where his views differ from the letter of the law, he will enforce the letter of the law because that is what he has sworn to do. If you think that you can identify a particular case from one of the posts you are wrong. Enough facts are changed to preserve the truth of the tale but to disguise its exact source.

My Photo
Location: Near London, United Kingdom

The blog is written by a retired JP, with over 30 years' experience on the Bench.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Apocrypha (21)

Many years ago I had a good friend, now sadly deceased, who was a senior Met detective. Standing at the bar, as we were wont to do, I spotted the head of a pin peeping from behind the lapel of his jacket. "That's not like you, Harry" I said. "I don't see you as the kind of bloke who saves a pin in his lapel". Wordlessly, Harry turned over his lapels, each of which had a dozen or so pins threaded into the fabric. "If some hero wants to give me a Glasgow kiss" he said, "He will grab my lapels and pull. If he gets two handfuls of pins he will pause for long enough for me to knee him in the balls". There's no substitute for experience is there?

Another useful tip I received via the Met CID is that a bar stool is an ideal tool with which to fend off a man with a knife, since its legs will be longer than his arms. Mind how you go now.