The Magistrate's Blog (2005-2012)

This blog has migrated to www.magistratesblog.blogspot.co.uk This blog is anonymous, and Bystander's views are his and his alone. Where his views differ from the letter of the law, he will enforce the letter of the law because that is what he has sworn to do. If you think that you can identify a particular case from one of the posts you are wrong. Enough facts are changed to preserve the truth of the tale but to disguise its exact source.

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Location: Near London, United Kingdom

The blog is written by a retired JP, with over 30 years' experience on the Bench.

Monday, March 16, 2009

I Owe You For That, Mr. M!

We had to sentence a first-offender shoplifter, a rather sad young man who had relieved a downmarket store of a pair of downmarket trainers. He was unrepresented, and pleaded guilty in a hangdog manner. "What do you want to tell us about this?" I asked. "Nothing" was the reply. "Are you working?" "No." "Are you claiming benefits?" "No." "What are you living on, then?"
I heard a loud mutter from the Clerk's bench :- "Stealing trainers".
I can cope with a lot of in-court surprises but this one left me and my colleagues in giggles for a few moments, before we imposed the inevitable Conditional Discharge.
I shall take my revenge when the opportunity arises. That Clerk needs to be afraid - very afraid.