The Magistrate's Blog (2005-2012)

This blog has migrated to www.magistratesblog.blogspot.co.uk This blog is anonymous, and Bystander's views are his and his alone. Where his views differ from the letter of the law, he will enforce the letter of the law because that is what he has sworn to do. If you think that you can identify a particular case from one of the posts you are wrong. Enough facts are changed to preserve the truth of the tale but to disguise its exact source.

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Location: Near London, United Kingdom

The blog is written by a retired JP, with over 30 years' experience on the Bench.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Not-So-Cunning Plan

The previous post reminded me of a tale that I heard from my good friend John Cochrane, whom I have known since my early days on the bench. John is an experienced old defence brief, who has seen a few things in his time, and who knows most of the ne'er-do-wells on our patch, which is not surprising as he is into representing the third generation of some local families.
John is a family man who lives quite close to the court and the police station. His lively and charming sons had used a discarded fridge in the garden for a bit of spray-painting practice before going on to use the sprays as part of a school art project. Time passed, and the fridge found its way out to the front drive to await collection by the Council. As happens, neither John nor his wife got round to making the call to the Council, so the fridge lingered on the drive, a daily reproach to its owners.
One fine day John returned home to be greeted by his beaming wife. "Darling" she said. "I've got rid of that old fridge." "Great! said John. "How?" "Jimmy the Pikey came round looking for odd jobs, and I gave him £20 to take it to the dump".
John did not react with the expected elation. He stood and thought. "I have cocked up darling, haven't I?" she asked. "You may be right" replied John.
Sure enough the phone rang next day. It was a neighbour from a couple of hundred yards down the road. "John" said the neighbour. "I couldn't help noticing that old fridge that your lads had sprayed. It was in your drive for a while. Well now it's blocking my garage door".
John apologised and made a phone call. The offending fridge was swiftly removed for a further £40.