The Magistrate's Blog (2005-2012)

This blog has migrated to www.magistratesblog.blogspot.co.uk This blog is anonymous, and Bystander's views are his and his alone. Where his views differ from the letter of the law, he will enforce the letter of the law because that is what he has sworn to do. If you think that you can identify a particular case from one of the posts you are wrong. Enough facts are changed to preserve the truth of the tale but to disguise its exact source.

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Location: Near London, United Kingdom

The blog is written by a team, who may or may not be JPs, but all of whom are interested in the Magistrates' Courts.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Downfall of a Master Criminal (2)

When the daily court list shows an offence as 'non-standard' it means that the allegation is sufficiently unusual not to have been entered into the database. That's what it said when Ronnie Michael appeared before us in Court 3 one morning.

The offence boiled down to one of attempted deception. Young Ronnie enjoys a varied and full sex life, consummating his seductions in bus shelters, parks, shop doorways and suchlike unromantic but convenient and inexpensive locations. Unfortunately he has impregnated one of the ladies concerned, and he is doubly unfortunate because she has named him as the father to the Child Support Agency. The CSA have ordered him to take a DNA test to establish paternity. Ronnie decided that he might avoid expense and bother if he sent a 'ringer' to take the test for him. Which is what he decided to do.

He sent his brother, blissfully unaware that siblings have rather similar DNA.

So not only did he receive a short prison sentence, pour encourager les autres, the CSA will be attempting to attach his earnings for the next sixteen years. I wish them luck.