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We had a scruffy man in the other day, facing the usual vehicle offences of no insurance or MoT on his battered old van, while he had never held a licence of any sort. He pleaded guilty, but what caught my eye was the means form that he had been obliged to give us (although out of deference to his less than perfect literary talents the usher had done the writing for him). Age 40. Unmarried, lives with long-term partner. Eight children, from three years old to fifteen. Unemployed. Since when? "my whole life". Moved from Eire to England aged about 18.

Here goes: Income (benefit) £350 per week. Rent paid on top.

We fined him as per the rules, and banned him from driving for six months. The bench were pretty philosophical about it when we went out the back, but the usher was livid. I can understand why, because I know what the ushers are paid.