Pros and Cons

A quick skim through the online versions of tomorrow's papers suggests that the usual rags will be getting into a lather about a Euro-judgement ordering the UK to restore the vote to serving prisoners. I can't get too excited either way, quite frankly. The prison population is rarely over about 75,000 which is not a very big slice of the electorate.

On reflection, I find myself keen on the idea, but only if we can make one or two changes. Until a few years ago there were members for the Universities of Oxford and Cambridge, whose members also enjoyed the privilege of a vote in their home constituency. All gone now, but how exciting it would be to have a constituency dedicated to serving prisoners - Cellblock Central.

Just think of it - old lags could stand and offer to put the con into constituency. Unsuccessful candidates, rather than losing their deposit, could lose remission. The voice of the criminal classes would be heard throughout the land, albeit in a more articulate manner that the simian grunts that some of us are used to hearing.

Best of all, think of the potential candidates. The Lords is taken care of, since Lord Brocket and Lord Archer have each seen the inside of a cell in recent years, but who could represent the great mass of old lags? Sadly, Ronnie Barker has ruled himself out in the last couple of days, but how about some of the telly hard men - Vinny Jones even? I understand that there are plenty of knuckle-draggers available at the rougher end of the soap spectrum too.

I would be very grateful for suggestions as to potential Dishonourable Members, and the policies that they might put forward to their rather select electorate.