The Magistrate's Blog (2005-2012)

This blog has migrated to www.magistratesblog.blogspot.co.uk This blog is anonymous, and Bystander's views are his and his alone. Where his views differ from the letter of the law, he will enforce the letter of the law because that is what he has sworn to do. If you think that you can identify a particular case from one of the posts you are wrong. Enough facts are changed to preserve the truth of the tale but to disguise its exact source.

My Photo
Location: Near London, United Kingdom

The blog is written by a retired JP, with over 30 years' experience on the Bench.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Stuffy Nose

I was at a meeting the other day and over coffee I got chatting to a JP who sits at a court that hears cases from a busy airport. He told me that he had recently seen a woman who had been stopped carrying one-and-a-half kilos of cocaine, estimated street value £75,000, through the green Customs channel. The drug was concealed partly in her knickers with - wait for it - the balance concealed in her rectum and her vagina. These smugglers are known to Customs as 'stuffers' as opposed to 'swallowers' who swallow packages of drugs and retrieve them as nature takes its course.

If any of you move in the kind of social circles where a post-prandial toot of Colombian marching powder is de rigeur, next time you see someone snorting coke up his nose why not tell him that it has quite possibly spent 24 hours up a Caribbean lady's bum? Afterwards, of course.