Another Master Criminal

Lee decided to burgle one of the big offices near the courthouse. He went in through the wall of what turned out to be a storeroom, in which there was nothing of interest to even the most desperate burglar.

He decided to head downwards by prising up the floorboards, and, he hoped, dropping into the floor below where he expected to find some nice computers or other saleable valuables. Unfortunately the floor proved tougher than he had expected, and in his struggle to make a nice hole he dropped his mobile phone and his driving licence into the void, beyond all hope of retrieval. Discouraged, he left by the way he had come in.

Eager not to waste the whole evening he next broke into a local travel agency where a couple of flat-screen televisions caught his eye. He removed them, left one in a safe place in a dark alley and set off to take the other one home. On his bike. In full view of the Council's high-definition CCTV cameras. Unsurprisingly the police turned up and he was arrested, but only after dropping and smashing his prize in his shock at seeing blue lights approaching.

We didn't get to deal with him, as he was awaiting sentence at another court for another bungled burglary, so we remitted his case there.

As he trudged down the painted steel stairs to the cells, I wondered when he would realise that he was not cut out for a life of crime.