Another Top Tip

I like to pass on bits of wisdom gleaned from my days in court, so here's a useful pearl from today:-

If you are short of somewhere to lay your head;
And if your mate offers you a bed in his council flat;
And if you get back a bit late after a heavy session;
And if the doorbell is broken;
And if you can't get your mate to wake up and let you in;
And if you think of tossing a handful of gravel up to the first-floor window to alert him;

(Here's the Top Tip, okay?)

Make sure that it is a handful of gravel - not a half-brick. That way lies trouble, including a charge of criminal damage and a summary eviction.

Mind how you go, now.