The Magistrate's Blog (2005-2012)

This blog has migrated to www.magistratesblog.blogspot.co.uk This blog is anonymous, and Bystander's views are his and his alone. Where his views differ from the letter of the law, he will enforce the letter of the law because that is what he has sworn to do. If you think that you can identify a particular case from one of the posts you are wrong. Enough facts are changed to preserve the truth of the tale but to disguise its exact source.

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Location: Near London, United Kingdom

The blog is written by a retired JP, with over 30 years' experience on the Bench.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

If You Can't Take A Joke Stay Out Of The Kitchen

I was nearly on the radio this evening. I was phoned up this afternoon while I was sweeping the leaves from my lawn and asked to take part in a current affairs show tonight. I have done quite a few of these, so I said yes. Producers prefer studio quality sound to the vagaries of the phone network so I agreed to go to a studio that is about 20 minutes' drive from my house. On arriving I discovered that momentous breaking news meant that the piece had been dropped, so home I came. In the past I have found myself leaving the house at 6 a.m., keys in hand, ready to drive to a studio, to get a call on my mobile saying that a big story has just broken, so sorry..... The main thing that broadcasting has in common with being a JP is that you get buggered about quite often, but there's no point in complaining because it's part of the deal in both cases.
I shall never forget the frisson that I felt one day as I sat in a small regional studio at 7.15 a.m., headphones clamped on, mike in front of me, ready to talk about the victim surcharge, when the producer came on: "two minutes, then you are next. By the way, it's John Humphrys". Since you ask, he was a pussycat.