The Magistrate's Blog (2005-2012)

This blog has migrated to www.magistratesblog.blogspot.co.uk This blog is anonymous, and Bystander's views are his and his alone. Where his views differ from the letter of the law, he will enforce the letter of the law because that is what he has sworn to do. If you think that you can identify a particular case from one of the posts you are wrong. Enough facts are changed to preserve the truth of the tale but to disguise its exact source.

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Location: Near London, United Kingdom

The blog is written by a retired JP, with over 30 years' experience on the Bench.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Another Top Tip

I like to pass on bits of wisdom gleaned from my days in court, so here's a useful pearl from today:-

If you are short of somewhere to lay your head;
And if your mate offers you a bed in his council flat;
And if you get back a bit late after a heavy session;
And if the doorbell is broken;
And if you can't get your mate to wake up and let you in;
And if you think of tossing a handful of gravel up to the first-floor window to alert him;

(Here's the Top Tip, okay?)

Make sure that it is a handful of gravel - not a half-brick. That way lies trouble, including a charge of criminal damage and a summary eviction.

Mind how you go, now.