Apocrypha (12)

A long time ago we had a judge come to talk to a meeting of magistrates. Her Honour Judge Suzanne Norwood was a grey haired lady in her sixties who wore a pork-pie type of hat and smoked cheroots. She used to put the fear of God into the barristers who appeared in front of her.

On one occasion counsel tried to mitigate for a burglar who had made his way to the victim's bedroom, based on the fact that his client had been very drunk indeed. Fixing the hapless lawyer with a terrifying glare, the Judge said "Young man: if a complete stranger is to enter my bedroom at night, I should prefer him to be sober."

Five years it was, then.