The Magistrate's Blog (2005-2012)

This blog has migrated to www.magistratesblog.blogspot.co.uk This blog is anonymous, and Bystander's views are his and his alone. Where his views differ from the letter of the law, he will enforce the letter of the law because that is what he has sworn to do. If you think that you can identify a particular case from one of the posts you are wrong. Enough facts are changed to preserve the truth of the tale but to disguise its exact source.

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Location: Near London, United Kingdom

The blog is written by a retired JP, with over 30 years' experience on the Bench.

Monday, May 08, 2006

All-Time Great Legal Jokes no. 737

A businessman who was staying in a strange city was late getting to his hotel. As he drove through the grubby streets he realised with increasing urgency that the takeaway curry he had eaten a couple of hours before was not agreeing with him. Teeth and buttocks clenched in unison, he drove on, desperate to find a public toilet.
Close to despair, he decided that if he had not found a toilet in three minutes he would resort to a dark alley or a shop doorway to do that which had to be done.
As he pulled up at a traffic light he saw, across the road, a blessed sign:-
He carefully looked up and down the road, and without waiting for the lights to change to green he crept the car across the junction. He undid his seat belt, got out of the car, and as he went to go into the toilets he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. He looked round and saw a pointed helmet atop six-foot-odd of blue serge uniform.
"Excuse me, sir" said the helmet's wearer. "Didn't I just see you cross a red light?"
"Officer, I'm sorry, but I'm desperate to find a shithouse".

"Well you've found one" replied the officer, taking out his notebook and biro. "What's your name?"